Celebration Planner Pillows

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

Margarita

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

'But you said you didn't want a fuss on your birthday.'

'You're laying down that bottle for when Rich graduates from college? Don't you ever want to drink it?'

"It's the latest trend. . . A divorce cake!"

Birthday cake

"It's me birthday today, let's crack open a bottle."

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

A dog carrying a large birthday cake on its back.

'My dress is thirteen years old today!'

'How much will it set me back if you throw me a Father's Day celebration?'

Florist.

Two grooms and a cat on a wedding cake.

Biodegradable helium balloons.

'You add the girl after baking.'

Go out to dinner? but we just went out to dinner on our last anniversary!

'Well, this is definitely the last time I shake a bottle of Champagne before opening it.'

A man and his ingenuity

Oh! I always get a card on March 31st. My daughter was a preemie. Happy Mother's Day!

Happy birthday! Your card is in here somewhere. Living with a mail carrier.

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

I could have danced all night!

Santa Claus's Mail

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."