Ceilidh Goer Gifts

"He do-si-doed when he should have allemaned left."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Marco ..."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

I need to set upmy own company.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

'I don't have enough. How much to se it in 2-D?'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Cinemuck

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it'

"White whale, red dot—we're all chasing something, my friend."

Miggs's short-lived joy

'Scary movie?'

'I tell you I smell Limburger.'

When you're wearing your big girl pants...You Can Take On The World!

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

'On the mathematics vaudeville circuit...' 'Fermat's last theorem - big deal! He only had two theorems!'

Targets

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.