Ceilidh Goer T-Shirts

"He do-si-doed when he should have allemaned left."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Marco ..."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

I need to set upmy own company.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

'I don't have enough. How much to se it in 2-D?'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Cinemuck

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

The Thinker and the Doer.

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

'I tell you I smell Limburger.'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it'

"White whale, red dot—we're all chasing something, my friend."

When you're wearing your big girl pants...You Can Take On The World!

'Scary movie?'

Miggs's short-lived joy

Amanda Seyfried

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'On the mathematics vaudeville circuit...' 'Fermat's last theorem - big deal! He only had two theorems!'

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