Cctv Technician Gifts

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Someone is at the front door."

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"Listen, Phil....LOVE the hi-def video conferencing, but next time can you trim your nose hairs?"

'And this, of course, is the clean room.'

"This kind flies around. Or do you want to rent a monotone speaker for your conference?"

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

Two video cameras fall in love at first sight.

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

Digital Tuna.

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

'We tried artificial flies. We tried lures. We tried live bait. Nothing works...'

Man in Gents toilet being watched by CCTV

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

'Your Honor, we can't find the defendant because we can't find the defendant.'

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

'Novelty utensils to go with my satellite dish! Cool, huh?'

Trying to get a TV reception from a bald head.

Death by Television

'The next door neighbor's dang psychic waves keep interfering with my reception.'

'Sacked? Just like that - with no explanation?'

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."

Birds sitting on aerial, one says to the other; 'I hear they're going to cable.'

'That's not a window... that's my large screen TV!'

'My wife is out of town. That's the diet cam.'

'This is the worst red-light district I've ever been in!'

'Adjustment of your picture is necessary - call your repairman.'

Bird box with satellite dish.

'It's swearing back at you.'