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Dinner in 30 Mins

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Film Lovers.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

Robert Denarii: 'You talin' to me.'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...'

Ennio Morricone RIP

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."