Cattle Baron Gifts

Eldon Furse - Cattle Baron and Flag Waver

Motorherd

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Police Cow!

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

Hot Towel Web Service

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'Can I get a Chardonnay over dry ice? I hate it when my wine gets wet.'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"It's non-negotiable."

'Here comes the pimp.'

'Sure, I'll come on board for five-hundred times your average worker's wage, plus double that in stock options, and unlimited use of the corporate jet. Also free postage.'

Highland cow and Scottish bull fighter.

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

"I heard they bought thousands of acres around here."

Agricultural Businessman.

"It's amazing what you can buy online."

"This one says he's his company's lead-off man."

'Forty beers please, oh, and if a woman called Beau Peep calls, tell her you never saw us.'

Stirrbucks

'Blossom, you're not chewing your cud.'

"I gotta say...Not a fan of the Angus."