Cathedral Comedy Gifts

"The smells! The smells!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

St. Elmo's fired.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Shoe repair

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Excommunicate Me.

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

Cathedral Made Safe.

The Missing Bell

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

Detected.

Tour of Cathedral #4.019

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's the new church organ."

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

"He was a lucky sod right to the end."

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Halo Repair

'Federal Express has a new service - delivery from evil by 10.30am, weekdays and Saturdays.'

Bell boy!

Basketball Hoop on the Suggestion Box

"Look. You think they're hideous and I think they're hideous, but maybe the bishop doesn't think they're hideous."

OH & S comes to Notre Dame.

"We've got a vacancy for a church mouse, if you're interested?"

"Sorry lad, you don't meet the physical requirements"