Cat-tastic Storyteller Gifts

Mittens is challenged by the string.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Schrödinger and his cat

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

Cat Lover's Leap.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"It's the dog."

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Hog Futures

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

Centaur falls in love.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

"Space is not for pussies!"