Cat Strategist T-Shirts

'We passed an anti-cat resolution at our last meeting -- anybody got any better ideas?'

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

Cat in a tank...

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"Works every time."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Saving for Retirement.

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

Folding Container.

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

Bank. 18 month CD 1.0815255645% Paying More digits than any other bank. Interest rates are so low! It's hard to believe this CD has reached maturity --- Just look at how little it's grown! Investing seems extremely risky these days. There's no safe place to get a decent return. They always say investing is a roller coaster. Yeah, but it's not true. On a roller coaster you get back to where you started!

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

"I did the math, and I'm telling you I have two left!"

'You should see the bird feeder I built. It's 100% squirrel proof.'

Cat Up Tree - "He refuses to come down unless you agree to all his demands."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"Do we want a four terabyte SSD with our new computer? We'll need to discuss it." "Do we?" "You'll need at least five terabytes, Mom."

"One day Son all this will be yours."

"My tactic is to feed the squirrels so much they're too fat to climb the bird feeder."

Wii Childbirth

I know this is the first day of the rest of my life, but if were a cat, and I had nine lives, would that make this the first life of the rest of my day