Cat Pageant Planner Pillows

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I was almost that last year."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Miss America IQ Pageant

Christmas Pets

'By Jove, we've finally found it! the fabled elephants' disco!'

Westminster: The after-party

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'Isn't he sweet - he got down all by himself!'

Cat Olympics

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

Surprise!! Cat's birthday.

'You're having antoher doggie treat party, right?'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Too cute for comfort.

Circus Pageant

'Halloween. Why should cats have all the fun?'

"This won best award show last year."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Extreme Makeover.

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Headline: Miss World moved to London - 'Why so much fuss about a woman getting stoned?'

"Mice?"

Miss America IQ pageant.

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"