Cat Pageant Planner Pillows

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

"I was almost that last year."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Miss America IQ Pageant

Christmas Pets

'By Jove, we've finally found it! the fabled elephants' disco!'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Westminster: The after-party

"Wait a minute. Have you guys thought about how this thing is supposed to fit in there?"

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

'Isn't he sweet - he got down all by himself!'

Cat Olympics

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

Surprise!! Cat's birthday.

'You're having antoher doggie treat party, right?'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Too cute for comfort.

Circus Pageant

'Halloween. Why should cats have all the fun?'

"This won best award show last year."

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Extreme Makeover.

Headline: Miss World moved to London - 'Why so much fuss about a woman getting stoned?'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

"Mice?"

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant