Cat Clichérators Pillows

"I take back those awful things I said about them making you wear a doggie sweater...I heard the older woman say something about the cat's pajamas!"

Cat Reunion

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"I hate it..."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Witch: 'I've mellowed. Instead of black, do you have a gray cat?'

'Let's get a kitty.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

'Isn't he sweet - he got down all by himself!'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

Extra Absorbent Kitty Litter.

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."