Cat Burglar Gifts

"Watson - look! The Cheshire cat burglar!"

"First date hairball... awkward."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

Sober Tooth Tiger

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

Who Let the Dawg In?

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

Word on the street is that he's self-domesticated.

'He's strictly an indoor cat.'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'I know what you're thinking.'

"He still doesn't know how to use the litter tray."

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'

Rats cutting loose a dog so it can chase a cat.

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

"Curiosity."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Lucky has an 'out-of-potty' experience.

"The serotonin is deafening."

Noir kitty.

Mr Kettleband's humour was described as unique.