Casually Celibate Gifts

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

The Reaper's Arms

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

Wine at the Bar

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

"I love people-watching."

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

'We can't go on knocking it back like this - one of us must give it up, won't you!'

Getting old...

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

'I'll be home for dinner pretty soon, dear — I just stopped off to cleanse my palate.'

Ignorance and Bliss

Cause and Effect.

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"