Casually Celibate Pillows

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

The Reaper's Arms

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

Wine at the Bar

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

'I'll be home for dinner pretty soon, dear — I just stopped off to cleanse my palate.'

Getting old...

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

'We can't go on knocking it back like this - one of us must give it up, won't you!'

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

"I love people-watching."

Cause and Effect.

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

'Drunk'

"Whaaat? It's casual Friday isn't it?"

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"