Casual Pub Goer Gifts

Clapham Chappies.

'Hey, that's a job we'd be qualified for...'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

City Boy.

Beers

"It feels good to unwind..."

'I know it's gassy...'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

The Reaper's Arms

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Men's fragrances...

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'