Casual Listener Gifts

"I have half an hour if you want someone to get sucked into your drama."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

The Reaper's Arms

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Anorak anoraks'.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

A trevor of trainspotters

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Wine at the Bar

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

Just a little heads up!

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!