Casual Joiners Gifts

'We're the same as the regular cubs without the full-time commitment.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

The Reaper's Arms

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

Wine at the Bar

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

Getting old...