Castle Guard Admirers Gifts

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'I think they're up to something.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'The knights are drawing closer'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

Fairytale prince and princess

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Knight walking a dog.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Woman Juggling Emojis

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'Oh dear, Hamlet seems to have developed turrets syndrome.'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"It's the battering classes"

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."