Castle Dreamer T-Shirts

'No, no, no, Rapunzel. You hair, your hair! Not your bloody hare...'

'It's a nice community but I wouldn't say it had traditional American values.'

"When a man sends ten thousand troops to attack you, it means he has a crush on you."

"And that won't wake me either."

This castle manager job better be for real.

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

"The screen porch makes it a home."

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

"'A little castle' is out of the question I'm afraid. You may have slept for a hundred years, but the housing market hasn't."

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"They were all out of sharks."

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

"You never take me on Royal Tours anymore."

"He's just doing that to get attention!"

Casle with smaller castle outside for the dog.

"About time!"

"Good God! I think you're right, sire...It is just a big jumping castle!"

A shoat, a float, in a boat, in a moat.

"This must be the pony Daddy ordered for his little princess."

'Psst, Sire -- that's 'feudal,' not 'futile.''

'Spend the night in that place? You guys have to be kidding!'

'Within this glass enclosure, my kingdom is completely protected.'

'I'm upgrading our entertainment center.'

'We found our dream castle. Now we're looking for our dream cottage.'

The tide comes in on a sand castle

"First, I'll need to see your hall pass."

It's lovely, but I would have been just as happy with a modest ranch.

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

No caption (A cat looks out a cat door that has been installed within a castle door).

"It's the moat Sire, everyone's just hanging out in it."

"And my prince is staying home to do the dishes."

"The clerk will call the roll."

"I think, Your Majesty, that you are perceived as an élitist."

"We're downsizing."