Cassual Crafter Of Crime Puns Pillows

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'No enemies, Miss, could you give men a list of his friends?'

Spiv

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

'Say what you will about Mad Dog Jensen... He was the craftiest adversary we ever faced!'

I've heard of on-line banking, but I think this may be the first ever attempt at an armed, on-line bank robbery!"

Catburglar's anonymous. Sign saying 'door not in use'.

...Mr.Colman is busy right now - he's burning some books.

Venus Fly Trap

"And this time, Figgis, try to play it as if you are not using 'forged notes'."

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

Criminal Profiling ID Parade

"I'm still not sure which one of them took my wallet. Maybe if they took off their shirts again."

'The gun went off while you were cleaning it, eh? †in a BANK?'

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

Con Artist.

"If you don't stop squabbling, I'm turning this car around and going right back to the bank."

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'It was the hand that fed us, you stupid dog! You should have eaten the food - not the hand!'

'Yeacch! Did you check the expiration date on this thing?'

'That's the most beautiful alibi I've ever heard!'

Next cartoon - 5 minutes...

"They don't hide the fact that they're into money laundering."

'He says does anyone know how to fit a skimming device?'

Some rafters are caught red-handed seated comfortably in stolen floating devices...

'This is one of the few things you still can't do off-line.'

"I didn't hear anything."