Casino Fanatic Gifts

'I thought she'd never leave.'

One armed bandit workout.

Jack of all trades

Evolution.

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Dog in casino.

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Destination casinos...

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Tonto Casino.

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

"Very angry birds"

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Sporting maladies.

"I was going to tell them to take a silly faces photo next, but I don't think I'll bother."

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."