Carnival Fanatic Gifts

'The Donald Trump Side Show'

Glastonbury. After.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Southwark Fair.

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Home depot."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

"I said slime."

Hay Rides $10

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

Fist Bumper Cars

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Clown Face Painting

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

Tunnel of TV

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'