Carnival Fanatic Pillows

'The Donald Trump Side Show'

Glastonbury. After.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Southwark Fair.

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Home depot."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

Fist Bumper Cars

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

Hay Rides $10

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I said slime."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

Clown Face Painting

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

Tunnel of TV

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."