Cash Conundrum Fan Gifts

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

'I can understand Heisenberg's equation and Schrodinger's equation for quantum mechanics but I cannot understand derivative trading.'

'Great job! As your reward, you can have a cash bonus or go untethered for a week.'

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

Piggy bank queuing at the bank.

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'

"Okay, if I can't use my last wish to wish for another three wishes, can I wish that I find another magic lamp?"

'Did I say billions? I meant jillions.'

'And then I said, 'So sue me!'...'

Man in a business suit balancing unsteadily on Euro currency in a circus ring

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

Greece & EU

"Somehow, we started out with a plan for debt-free money and ended up with money-free debt."

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"I'm sorry, but the only 0% offer we can give you is the 0% chance of being accepted..."

"This option in the pension is a little tricky. You can start collecting benefits when you're 58 years old, as long as you look 58 years old."

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

'I'm sorry Jeeves, I'm going to have to let one go.'

'Your Financial Institution No Longer Exists.'

"What do you do when you run something by legal and legal takes the fifth?"

"Your company has gone bankrupt and you've been imprisoned because we gave you bad info? Didn't your mom ever teach you not to trust strangers?"

"Inland Revenue, sir. We have reason to believe you have found a way to take it with you."

'According to our bank statement, they're broke.'

'Should I ask for a raise?' 'Don't bother, the firm's going under!'

"Four closure - think of it as a number with bad credit."

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Stoke, this is the non-stop Glasgow to London Euston express.'

'Hi, can we accept a credit card from a professional pick pocket?'

Self-made Millionaire.