Case Managers Gifts

It's our latest caseload management system, we just keep on adding files until he falls over.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"My God! There goes middle management."

Fantasy Business Management

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"I guessed my way to a perfect score on the GMAT, then I guessed my way through grad school and several middle management jobs...."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

The Department of Lessons Learned...

'You are here.'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."