Carving Connoisseur Gifts

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"Actually, it's just Jack Lantern, there's no Irish in my family."

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

Tree and man

Instructional guide to scribbling

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

Whittler's Mother.

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

"She's a natural!"

Vincent Van Goat.

Posh Easter Egg

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

About the potter.

"It was a botched surgery."

Thor's Other Tools

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

"It's a 'selfie.'"

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

Before Art School. During Art School. After Art School

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"But is it..?"

The Copywriter's Dilemma

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

Artist painting a dancer.

'No I don't have scissors you can borrow.'

"We think it had something to do with love."

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.