Cartophile Gifts

'Look at the old present I found when I was putting away the decorations. It's for me!'

British savings accounts

'C'mon get it straight.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'I told you it would be useful.'

Seagiraffes

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

Cariactures

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'Cannonball!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

Giraffe Umbrella

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."