Cartophile T-Shirts

'Look at the old present I found when I was putting away the decorations. It's for me!'

British savings accounts

'C'mon get it straight.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Torturing the English Language

Seagiraffes

'I told you it would be useful.'

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

Cariactures

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Cannonball!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

Giraffe Umbrella

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"And where have you previously moused?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

The Rubber Ball Company

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"