Cartoonist's Fan Gifts

Even cows get the blahs....

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The Runaway Horse

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Your shoe's untied.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Dog walking Human.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

Piranhaclaus

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Support group for sheep.