Cartoonist Fan Gifts

'Fire, rudimentary tools, the ability for abstract thought. Bloody kids don't know their living.'

Very angry looking bandits

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

The Runaway Horse

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

Lactose Intolerant

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

Reagacentennial

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

A caveman paints from life

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."