Cartoon Viewing Gifts

After immobilising its prey, the Tasmanian Death Spider prefers to suck out the innards with a bendy straw.

Goldilocks, Bo Peep doesn't understand me.

Humpty Dumpty counting sheep, and picturing them pushing him off his wall.

Cow Pilot.

Bloomin' ants!

"I think Dad's loaded...he just doesn't tell us."

"I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the #@&&!# kid who keeps us from having time to do anything!"

Her Majesty's Government's recommended safe-distance for cartoon viewing.

"I look at your legs in that bathing suit and I get a craving for spaghetti."

British savings accounts

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Seagiraffes

'I told you it would be useful.'

Torturing the English Language

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Billy. The Kid.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

Cariactures

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'Cannonball!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

Giraffe Umbrella

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."