Cartoon Reading Gifts

"Is your church up for the 'Best Media Coverage' award?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. II

"Good thing...because after you left work early yesterday to go to your grandma's funeral...she stopped in to say hello."

"Someone to see you!"

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

A place to smoke.

Footpath Closed

'Now that your 'peak earning years' have passed, we'll be cutting your salary.'

Collecting Donations

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Fetch.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Billy. The Kid.

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

The Salmon Run

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

X-ray Psychology.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"