Reading Satirical Cartoons Gifts

"He's certainly been getting a lot more than his normal share of media coverage lately."

Shoulda Gone with Sexual Harassment Instead

"We're from the middle class drug squad and you're nicked."

Corporate Men

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

"Someone to see you!"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'What doctors really write on prescriptions.'

'I'm here for the organ transplant.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

The New A*****e

I'm afraid doctor-patient confidentiality prevents me from saying if your brother cried like a baby during his flu shot.

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

The Trickledown Effect

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

'I hear you're quite an advocate of group therapy.'

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

"The patient in 402 appears to be exhibiting anxiety symptoms, Doctor."

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

How Moms explain.

CEO Bonus - 'Those in favor of my exhorbitant bonus say 'aye'. Those opposed say, 'Good heavens, I've been shot!'

Welcome to old age - I come up seven or eight times a night to empty my blowhole, too.

"You have natural causes.''

This "extinction of the personality and oneness of the universe" thing... is there any money in it?