Reading Satirical Cartoons Pillows

"He's certainly been getting a lot more than his normal share of media coverage lately."

"We're from the middle class drug squad and you're nicked."

Corporate Men

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

"Someone to see you!"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'What doctors really write on prescriptions.'

'I'm here for the organ transplant.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I hear you're quite an advocate of group therapy.'

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

The New A*****e

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

How Moms explain.

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

The Trickledown Effect

"The patient in 402 appears to be exhibiting anxiety symptoms, Doctor."

CEO Bonus - 'Those in favor of my exhorbitant bonus say 'aye'. Those opposed say, 'Good heavens, I've been shot!'

"I hope your day is going bad."

"They just love tassels."

"After a thousand years you may receive a questionnaire on the quality of my torture. So if for any reason you think you can't give me all tens, please let me know."

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

"You have natural causes.''

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”