Cartoon Crime Investigator T-Shirts

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

Medellin erases the image of Escobar

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

Bureau of Missing Persons

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

The Line-up

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"Yes, that's him there. The fellow making the finger-across-the-throat gesture."

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

Richard gets the third degree.