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'It's not fair. The Fed pays people good salaries for doing the same thing.'

"You have no 401 K, …. and you call yourself a career criminal?"

Early Identity therft

'So I said, if you think this money is counterfeit, prove it.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Mou...Man trap!

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

Arrest of La Tuta

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

"Do you accept ill-gotten gains?"

"Forensics put time of death about 3 hours ago chief. . .they're certain it was a potato gun."

'All your money or the pig sneezes!'

'I think my husband is trying to bore me to death.'

"Everyone we know is escaping and you sit there doing nothing."

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"We find a murdered ventriloquist dummy and have reason to believe you had a hand in it."

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Piñata police line-up.

'I can't believe you gave them your resume instead of the holdup note!'

"If you killed him using a tennis racket, you need a sports lawyer."