Crime Comic Enthusiast Pillows

'It's not fair. The Fed pays people good salaries for doing the same thing.'

"You have no 401 K, …. and you call yourself a career criminal?"

Early Identity therft

'So I said, if you think this money is counterfeit, prove it.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Mou...Man trap!

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

Arrest of La Tuta

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"We find a murdered ventriloquist dummy and have reason to believe you had a hand in it."

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"Everyone we know is escaping and you sit there doing nothing."

'I think my husband is trying to bore me to death.'

"Do you accept ill-gotten gains?"

'All your money or the pig sneezes!'

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

'I can't believe you gave them your resume instead of the holdup note!'

"If you killed him using a tennis racket, you need a sports lawyer."

"So, Poirot, mon ami, do you like using our little grey cells?"

"Jeff! Have you been sleepwalking again?!"