Crime Comic Lover Pillows

'It's always WITNESS protection programs! -- How come they never have CRIMINAL protection programs?'

'Can't we put this behind us and move on?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Mou...Man trap!

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'Not much cop are you!'

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

'Did he say anything before he died?'

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

The Codfather.

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play!'