Cartoon Crime Investigator Pillows

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

Bureau of Missing Persons

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

Medellin erases the image of Escobar

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

The Line-up

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"Yes, that's him there. The fellow making the finger-across-the-throat gesture."

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

Richard gets the third degree.