Cartoon Comedy Connoisseurs Gifts

'Let's try Chicago or someplace - this town isn't big enough for both of us.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Horror movies

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

The Family Joules: Part 16

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Puss in cement boots"

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Collies Without Borders

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Recalculating route..."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."