Cartoon Appreciation Society Gifts

"Dang, there go our insurance rates!"

An animal has attacked a child. It's very important to the world that you immediately express a bad opinion online.

Gladstone's Reaction to Armenian Atrocities

"Don't tell Noah about the vasectomy."

$10 a step from this point forward.

"No kidding? You too? Wow, what are the odds we'd both be cartoonists?"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Skeleton playing fetch.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Early photobombing

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Recalculating route..."

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

Why Cows Leave Home

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

'Check out the old dude.'

"You two seem oddly suited."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"Touché"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

Penguin

A Tumble Cow

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."