Carry-on King Gifts

Cull people who take up all the overhead bin space on airplanes

Counting ribs

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Dad Trophies

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

'Enjoy the race race, dear.'

"Oh, aye - he's never slow at stepping up to the plate."

"My compliments to Mummy!"

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"I think I'd be better off trying to figure this out the game on my own."

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

The Steaks have a Last Desperate Attempt to Escape

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

"He's looking for the next big leftovers holiday."

'My favorite kitchen tool will always be the old fashioned fork moving automatically to my mouth!'

'Hey, none of us like having to fly south every year, but couldn't you have taken a bus?'

Sid James

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.