Carpet Saver Gifts

"We've trained him to 'go on command.' Currently, the command is, 'Ralph-Grab the Dog Before He Goes On The Carpet!'"

The Environmentalist

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

'Yeah, well, my dad's greener than your dad!'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

Recycling - Perfectly good bits you can't recycle or give away...

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

Climate Crisis

Cash Rebate

'Faster Mr. Barlow, the lights keep going dim!'

Shepherd

G20 - what now?

The Finger.

Climb to the moon on a tower of waste.

"One reference to 'Spaceship Earth' and I'm out of here."

Tarzan's trees being chopped down.

The World as a Piggy Bank

Squeezing the World.

'What do you mean you though I paid the electricity bill!'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Ecology

A=Gets the job done (efficient) B=Wasteful if spent (flashy) Available resources

'No sooner had I gotten over religious guilt when I developed eco-guilt.'

'I'm singin' in the rain, what a glorious geelin', I'm happy again...'

"I think our solar panels are drawing in too much energy. I just plugged in my hair dryer, and I swear the sun dimmed."

Pathology.

Shock Absorber and Environmental Ideas that Failed: Recycled Springs from Box Spring Mattresses.

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

How'd that get there? Wash me.