Carol Lover Gifts

Conrad grew to resent the four calling birds his true love gave to him.

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

An Angel Santa Claus

Drummer Boy

'Brightly shone the moon that night, tho' the frost was cruel, at least you can see all night, even with no fuel.'

'You call that carol singing?'

'If we want a carol we've got to put the money in first.'

'Don't complain! Me, I have to listen to Christmas Carols all year round...'

Away in a manger

"We wish you a Merry Moo-Moo..."

A Partridge in a Pear Tree

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

"Which one's yours?"

Balloon Surprise

Tango

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

Chorister's Loose Teeth

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

Spider boy

God save the Queen.

Rainbow skier

Heaven

Art gallery: 'I think it's lovely.'

A singer being criticised

A family choir

Bradley Wiggins

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

John Stuart Mill

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'