Carnivorous Diet Gifts

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

'White meat or dark?'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

Gazelle Pizza#:'You guys aren't interested in pizza are you?'

'I'm not sure how to break this to you all... the Atkins diet is back.'

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

Cooked rare.

The Butcher of 35th street.

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

Scientists Discover the Gene for Heterosexuality in Men

Too rare perhaps?

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

Caveman restaurant: Oogs Pieces of cooked meet: Over one Dozen Served.

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

"Larry, did you water the plant?"

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

"Forget cholesterol. We eat meat, and that's that."

We'll have whatever they are

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"The abattoir hasn't any butchers so you'll have to help yourself a bit more than usual."

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"Sorry sir, it appears that we're out of chicken fingers."

The food was nice...but something was missing.

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"Check this out. If you pace back and forth, it hypnotizes them and they give you a steak."

'OK, it's a deal: I'll get you a Christmas Turkey if you get me a big Salmon...'

The good and bad news for the species is we have less fat than beef.

'We lit the fire and we're cooking the meat.' 'Hey - easy with the technobabble.'