Carnivorism Gifts

Rescued Meat

Years later, during the low carb craze, she became known simply as 'Mary had a lotta lamb.'

"It just seems fair, me being a carnivore and you being a vegan."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

'White meat or dark?'

'I'm not sure how to break this to you all... the Atkins diet is back.'

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

Cooked rare.

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

The Steaks have a Last Desperate Attempt to Escape

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

Too rare perhaps?

Caveman restaurant: Oogs Pieces of cooked meet: Over one Dozen Served.

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

The food was nice...but something was missing.

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

We'll have whatever they are

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"The abattoir hasn't any butchers so you'll have to help yourself a bit more than usual."

"Forget cholesterol. We eat meat, and that's that."

"Sorry sir, it appears that we're out of chicken fingers."

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"Check this out. If you pace back and forth, it hypnotizes them and they give you a steak."

'OK, it's a deal: I'll get you a Christmas Turkey if you get me a big Salmon...'

The good and bad news for the species is we have less fat than beef.

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'