Caring For A Sick Relative Pillows

'He's playing air violin. Studies show it reduces compassion fatigue.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Did you remember my mints?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

Dino Snack

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

It's a wireless.

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'You sounded better yesterday.'

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."

"His life was hanging by a thread, and then somebody fed him the bean burrito."

Post-Apocalypse Greeting Card

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

Senior Olympics

Miami: Home of the Miami Relatives

I swear that boy has grown another foot since the last time I saw him.

"Guys, I can't afford to be laid off."

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

Fresh Eggs: Now With Free How To Suck Eggs Download!

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

'Mind if I check the expiration date on that milk?'

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

"Here's your support, Dad, and here's mine."

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."