Visiting Sick Friends Pillows

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

'Next!'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'You sounded better yesterday.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

Hospital Visit

"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

I swear that boy has grown another foot since the last time I saw him.

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'

Life and Death.

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!