Carefree Pet Owners Gifts

"Shouldn't hide treats in your back pocket with a dog that big."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Home Sweet Home

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"That's the deep end."

"Now how did she know?"

The best relationships are silent.

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'Who's best friend are you?'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Mittens, this is what John Muir would call 'a charming little poem of wilderness.'"

A Provocative image from ancient Egypt which suggests not only that dogs exist, but also that they are graciously willing to accept out primitive Earth foods.

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

"My one regret is not napping more."

'We spoil that dog.'

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

'I knew I should have used mistletoe instead of catnip.'

Cat and Dog Fights.

Last of the Christmas presents.

"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" "I love you!"

"Reminds me of that Claes Oldenburg sculpture we peed on in Chicago."

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

Why dogs stick their heads out of car windows.

"Don't mess with the electronic windows."

'I think it's time we told kitty she was adopted.'

'I know it's your bed, but she's our guest. Sorry, sweetie, but you're going to have to sleep on the couch.'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'