Carefree Driver Pillows

'Hi, I think I'm doing OK this time.'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Cats on Board.

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'It's baseball season!'

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

Running

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

Weathervanes.

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'Dude, I got the rest of the day off, so I'll be able to go riding after all!'

Mexican Dog

'No luggage.'

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"You and your lists! You're missing out on life."

Speed limit 70mph and up.

"This is where I come to unwind."

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

Peak Oil - 'Are we there yet, Dad?'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

'Tsk, the garden's full of the dog's mess again...'

Funky Auto Repair: 'Bad driver special: But first repair job, get 2nd repair job, half price'